I think Disappoint!Hojo being my default icon is sending across the wrong message.
...I personally just find it hilarious.
You know, I hate -
HATE- how I flip-flop through my current interest, over the span of a few months. It'll go something like this:
"Oh hmmm, Final Fantasy VII. I think I'll stay here for a whi- ooooh shiny, must go to shiny- no, nope. Back to FF7. ...but TotA is right over there. Maybe I'll hang out over there for a bit, ahhhh...yes- WAIT but look, a new Transformers fic! Mmmm, I do so love Transformers. And robots. Megaman has robots...shit I love Megaman, I used to draw it all the time...AHAHAHA THAT AWESOME MEGAMAN FIC- oh that's right, she writes DBZ too! Oh man, DBZ is so aweseommmmmmmmm I love DBZ- but wait, I love Jak and Daxter too- oh but what am I saying, I should post for
Cloud-"
And on and on. It's very, very annoying. Makes it very hard to fandom!squee over something with friends when my stupid brain is too ADD to settle on one for longer than a month. It's even worse when I start self-squeeing over my own shit like some puffed-up BN of a fandom that doesn't exist yet. -_(\
I also hate it when I have all the drive to RP, but not the brainpower. Or when I have the drive the night before, then lose it the next day (usually because of work). I just click on LJ, stare at Luceti's profile and realize that, "nope, neither little old man tags nor apps are going to be done tonight," and that I'm just going to dick around and MAYBE respond to a couple tags before stumbling off to bed, because I have to be up soon and I didn't sleep the night before so I've got a little catching up to do, too...eh.
Bleh.
You know RP has become an unhealthy obsession when to free up time for job-searching you consider quitting your
job as a preferable course of action to quitting your
roleplay game. Though in my defense, quitting my job would make me exceedingly happy for about a week before the panic sets in, whereas quitting roleplay would probably kick me over that line of clinical depression I've been toeing lately.Whatever, fuck that shit.
I wanna go back to school so bad. I want a degree that will actually help me get a decent job -oh for Christ's sake and not in retail, isn't six years long enough? Haven't I done my time yet?- or even better, one I like. I want to magically get better at my drawing, or at least get to the point where I don't look at it and cringe in disgust, so that I can whip
SOMETHING up to show publishers. For Christ's sake I have all the history written out -some online, some in my head- and I have all the characters, all the terms, all the twists, all the animals, circumstances, MUSIC FOR CRYING OUT LOUD- and I can't do anything with it because I'm...lazy. Essentially.
Guh.
Fuck.
-Egg